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[The front door bangs open and a wind howls through filled with thunderous fury and bone deep despair. A chain rattles as Komaeda follows it inside, shutting the door quietly behind him. For a moment he stands wrapped in the storm of his own making. Despair rolls from him in dragon scales that swallow the light.

He takes four steps and sags against the wall, just Komaeda Nagito again. The wind still rages venting its fury. Control is beyond him. He's too tired. His coat has burn holes at the bottom. He slides all the way down with a sigh. In a minute he'd seek Hinata out if he didn't approach himself.

When he isn't still furious with events and himself for how things turned out.]

[ It's the loud sounds that set Hinata off. Of course he was already dressed for work this early in the morning, wearing his usual shirt and tie as he opens the door from his room. ]

You're back. [ He doesn't smile nor does he ask what happened. ] Welcome back, Nagito.

[The wind gentles, to a dull snarl as Komaeda grabs the edge of the table and hauls himself to his feet. Hajime. The word crashes around inside his head as he slowly picks his way across the living room. At the door frame he reaches out and grasps hold of the white shirt, clenching it tightly. He almost jerks back in horror when the wind turns warm then steadies himself.]

Hajime. [The word comes out a little slurred, but he says it again. He's half tempted to repeat it endlessly but instead he tugs on his shirt, urging him closer.] ...I'm afraid I can't move much farther without help. It was...

[His eyes slide away from his boyfriend's to the wall.] a difficult time.

Nagito.

[ His voice is rather calm as he wraps an arm around Komaeda's waist in order to keep himself close. ] Don't worry about it so much. If you want to talk about it later, we can. I'm just glad you came back home safe.

[Real safety and warmth, feels a little different than what Elios tried to do. Or at least, he wants to think of that way. His metal fingers clench harder than they usually do. He doesn't have a sense of sensation in.]

I'm afraid as much as I'd like to bask in being home...I need to discuss what happened with you.

[Komaeda leans into his chest, pressing his face against it and murmuring low.] I don't know how much time we have until...

[He puts a hand to the wall.] It can wait. Help me to the bath.

Oi...

[ There's definitely a trace of worry in his voice when he feels Komaeda's fingers clench tightly onto him. While Hinata doesn't mind it, it definitely seems that there's something more to this that's serious. But first things first. ]

You prefer the bath over the shower, Nagito? I can't join you if you're just using the bath.

[ He's half joking, if only to ease the tenseness of the situation. ]

I always prefer showers...but I didn't want to ask you to do more than necessary. [But he needs this. It's embarrassing to admit right now when he feels like filth smeared on the wood beneath their feet. His metal hand starts to close tighter and he forces it to relax.]

...Sorry.

...How do you...feel when you surface from being Izuru for extended periods of time?

You don't have to apologize for that. And...

[ There's a slight pause as he takes a breath in, and then out. Trying to calm himself down because he knows there's something there. ]

If you ever want something from me, you just have to ask. Don't assume that I will or won't do anything. And it's not a problem for me to do more than what seems necessary, either. But as for your question, it depends. I... haven't been Kamukura in a while. It might be different now. But back then, it was exhausting but also a relief when I came out of it.

Because Kamukura is full of apathy, it's a bit of a surprising jolt when I feel my emotions resurface. Now, it would probably be better, since I can control it and... he's also a part of me now. Rather than how I was before, trying to reject him.

It's not that I doubt your willingness to do things for me. [It's he doesn't feel like he deserves anything right now. Komaeda rubs his cheek on his chest despite that self loathing curling in his chest making it feel tight.] Just don't feel all that well right now.

[He had been his despair self in almost every way that matters for a while. Full of despair and hate. His fingers curl again into the white shirt.]

That jolt sounds about right. ...it wasn't because I was my old self. Elios has tipped so far he sounded like Mitarai-kun. I thought I got through and could handle his trap.

Then he tried to hypnotize us with love. He had been trying before but, not like that.

[With his metal hand he reaches down and pulls his shirt up. On the left side of his body a fist sized bruise has turned a sickly shade of purple.] Even that wouldn't have been enough.

If not for Red-san's timely actions and Peromei responding to my call. I've felt...out of sorts since.

Nagito. [ His voice is completely flat as he looks at him and it's almost comical. ] If you don't feel that well, shouldn't it be obvious that I help you out more than I have to?

[ Nevertheless, it seems that Komaeda needs to even himself out, so it's all fine by him. ]

I see. So he's acting like that. [ He can't help but sigh, however. ] Hypnotizing someone with that isn't any good. Creating a fake love makes it a love that isn't real to begin with. If Elios is doing something like that, things must be really bad. Although I expected it with how you arrived.

[ Although he can't help but notice the bruise, just a bit. ] We should get that treated, by the way.

[He glances down at the spot where his bruise is. They both know it's there under his clothes.] We can deal with it later. It's not that serious.

[They need to stop talking and get to the bathroom but that requires turning around. Moving st all is a chore. He'll be mostly fine in the morning. Just worn out and more tired than usual. Like the old days.] I'd like to shower sometime before I get sleep.

Please.

[Sometime later, Komaeda sits with his hands wrapped around a warm mug on the edge of their bed. He feels a little more like himself. His eyebrow raises at the scent of food and he visibly straightens up. The only good he has the energy to eat is soup.] I see.

You're taking my 'feel real' literally too.

Edited 2017-06-14 05:35 (UTC)

Is that such a bad thing?

[ He can't help but look away in slight embarrassment, flushing just slight. ] It's not as if you disliked it.

[He doesn't bother hiding his smile while he takes a sip of his tea.] Oh I liked it a lot but I mean the food.

[The cup is gently set on the bedside table as he leans against Hinata with a contented sigh.They're only half dressed and he could care less about getting more clothes on.] I'll need a minute before I can attempt it or I'll make a mess.

[Food will give him enough energy to talk about what happened. He needs that. If only to unwind.]

...

[ He's being messed with. Hinata knows this fully well and he can't help but knit his brows together before sighing. ]

Alright. Just take your time; I'm not in any hurry or anything.

[Maybe he shouldn't tease him when he's so tired. But this is the closest to his usual self he's felt in hours. The vague disconnect is still there but not nearly as pronounced. He trails his fingers down Hinata's chest. The warmth and love are real. Not a spirit talking to old hurts. He sighs.

As he reaches for the bowl he sits up straight. It smells wonderful. At a glance he knows there's exactly what he needs. Taking his time eating isn't about messing with Hinata. He really is tired. By the time he's halfway through he starts.]

Red and his pokemon Articuno worked together with the Arehtei to contain the storm surrounding the mountain. Jade-san slowed down and dulled Elios's direct attack on us with shield crafted from Dunamis. It wasn't perfect but no other powers were working. Only Dunamis and focusing on emotions got us anywhere. Even our gear was infused with hate.

Edited 2017-06-15 22:03 (UTC)

... Articuno?

[ You might want to elaborate on that a little bit, Komaeda. That's something that's new to him, so he is definitely interested in hearing more. ] And I see. You said that Elios tried to hypnotize you guys with love, right? How exactly did he do it?

[His tired smile falls. A shadow passes across his face as he sets his spoon down. Nothing is said for a few minutes as he stares into the bowl.]

Remember when I said I wanted someone's love? He took me back to the deepest memories of love I have. The easiest ones to get lost in are also the most painful.

[He traces faint whorls in the metal spoon as he continues in a soft voice.] It was a wind that carried us back. When Red called out to me I almost didn't hear it. It was enough of a jolt to allow me to give myself a wake up call.

[He had hit himself hard enough to jar his mind out of the haze.]

...yeah, I remember.

[ He hasn't forgotten. His eyes fix on Komaeda, however. ]

But I think I understand, in a way, even if I haven't experienced it myself. [ Hinata lowers his voice, as he speaks, full of affection. ] You're okay now, though. Right?

....sorry as I am to say it, not yet. [He leans into him and basks in the warmth and feelings of the moment.] But I'm mostly myself again.

To hold out against Elios I originally thought immersing myself and being that loathsome creature I was would be ideal. It was. A bit too well. It made any damage he did that much harder to return to balance. I was enjoying my own pain. Immersing myself in despair.

Only when I was balanced did I reach him. [He lifts his left hand and waves it around slightly.] It's like being a river instead of a fire. I'm thinking I need to find a better route or at least, when I immerse myself like that.

Form an ideal not the real memories.

Edited 2017-06-20 16:42 (UTC)

You don't have to apologize.

[ Even though Hinata appreciates it all the same, allowing himself to be leaned on. He does appreciate that much, and he can't help but smile that he's feeling a little better, even if it's not complete. ]

But I think I understand. Balance is key here. I get why you would want to counteract a massive amount of love with a massive amount of hate, though... but if you need practice in finding a better route, I wouldn't mind helping by utilizing Kamukura.

[Komaeda's head shoots up abruptly, his eyes wide. Kamukura. Apathy.

He stares at the wall with a distance in his eyes as he nods slowly. It's like a piece settling into place. He lets his mind fall like a stone into the place where he cares about nothing. Was nothing. Just for a moment. When he returns to the present he feels slightly more like himself.] ...We'll have to use it at some point. Why not against a love that consumes all thought?

[He turns back to Hinata and touches the side of his face.]

We were worried about apathy. But I think that might be something we have to consider. It's a natural part of the world. Against imbalance it is a negative. Elios needs negative emotions to rebalance.

Do you think it'll work?

[ Hinata finds himself humming out of curiosity, pressing his lips together. ]

I mean... you're right that it's a part of the world around us, though. And I don't think it would hurt to try.

Only as a last resort. I need to discuss this with the Arehtei and with Red. But, I don't think we should dismiss it as an option. [He traces Hinata's jaw with his fingers. He's too tired to be more affectionate than that. But, the care is in his eyes.] As you are. You're balanced between emotions and that apathy.

Presently you will have to struggle but, don't go completely into apathy to cope. Hm?

I can do that.

[ Balancing between the two. Although when he says not to go to apathy to cope he finds himself tensing up, enough to be noticeable. ]

... I won't. Promise.

Just be careful. That's all I'm asking you. [He shifts, pressing up against Hinata's side. He loves him so much. It's terrifying sometimes. The idea of losing him is enough to make him never want to feel anything. No one has ever been this close.]

That's all. [He whispers. Fingers still on Hinata's jaw.] I love you.

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June 2nd, early morning - action dr2-dr3 spoilers

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Dr3 spoilers

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